June 12, 2012 gracenotes

Today I give thanks to God for my very best friend, my husband Ron. Not
that I don't thank the Lord often for him, but today is a special day –
our 36th wedding anniversary (June 12th). Whether you find yourself
single, widowed, divorced, or married, the Lord has given you
relationships that need care to grow and flourish. I share some advice
that was given to us at our wedding and things we have learned along the
way.

• Accept each other as you are. Planning to change someone usually has
disastrous results. Basic personalities are pretty well set early on.
• Love is a decision, not a feeling.
• Sometimes one gives 100%, not just 50-50.
• Be flexible; things and people change and it is a dance and gift to adapt.
• Live Ephesians 4: 26-27, not letting the sun go down while you are angry.
Talk it out or set a time to talk more about it.
• Lift up your partner in front of other people. Praise and build them up
instead of putting them down.
• Home should be a shelter and haven for all who live there, a safe place
to return to at the end of the day and share life's joys and burdens.
• Admit to your mistakes and ask forgiveness.
• Support each other's interests and abilities and encourage each other to
grow. Try not to be jealous of one another.
• Know when you are in trouble and get help.
• Make time together a priority.
• Try not to let your children come between you, even if you disagree on
how to handle them.
• Think before you speak and consider how what you say will sound to the
other person.
• Avoid power plays or struggles.
• Thank the Lord daily and ask how you can be a better partner, friend, or
parent.

Actually the list could go on and on, couldn't it? For the longer we
live, we continue to learn how to be in relationship with others.
Sometimes we learn by mistakes, sometimes we learn by observing others,
sometimes we learn by letting go of our control and listening. And there
are times when we have to say "no" if the way we are being treated is
unacceptable, for that leads to a broken relationship and that deep hurt
is not what God has in mind for any of us.

Each marriage or friendship will look different because the people
involved are unique, but there are ways of respecting and treating each
other well that are the foundation of all relationships.

Take time today to consider the gift God has given you in relationships,
and ask how you can be a better steward, or caretaker of them.

Blessings,
Carla Vanatta, Associate in Ministry
Salem Lutheran Church, Sycamore, IL

Salem Reminders:
Enjoy Salem Puppet Team's Salute to Fathers this Sunday, 8:00 & 10:30 and
take time to honor your own, forgiving them for their faults and failures.

A new member dinner is offered at 6 p.m. Monday, June 18th in Fellowship
Hall for those interested in exploring a faith connection with Salem.

A summer book study on "The Shack" continues Thursday evenings at 5 p.m.
in Fellowship Hall. Bring a sack supper and enjoy the discussion led by
Pastor Rob.