Grace Notes June 25 ... Final by Judy

Do you remember when you or your wife was pregnant for the first time?
How excited and scared and ignorant and innocent you were? Mainly,
though, you were amazed and full of wonder as that belly grew! And that
joy, that exaltation when that glorious baby was actually born! You had
known it by touch but not by sight for a lo-o-ong time. And here was your
introduction face-to-face. How our hearts swelled! We thought we could
never ever love anybody again as much as we instantly do this infant.

And then we had a second child!

We learned immediately that our hearts have far greater capacity for
loving than we had dreamed. And so on. Apparently God made us for
loving.

Well, that's how it has been for me at Salem. Over the five years I have
gotten to be here, I kept getting to know more and more people, young,
old, men, women, children and each one had a story. SO interesting.
Sometimes I listened in such sadness, sometimes in sorrow, sometimes in
anger, sometimes laughter, always blessed to hear all these children of
God's.

I learned that ministry is simply loving. Loving people who need it,
loving those who say they don't, that they're fine. Loving those we see
and those we don't, loving those we know and those we don't. Again,
apparently God made us for loving. Downstairs Salem serves the hungry
with food and welcome. Upstairs Salem serves its members and strangers
looking for a church home. Salem is hospitable. It is also generous, as
it serves children affected by malaria, feeds children around the world
with manna packs. People at Salem really don't like to hear that children
are hungry. Salem does many acts of loving, whether the acts are called
that or not. The building and lawns reflect the loving care people have
for it. And on and on. The Sunday School is full of activity and
laughter on Sunday mornings, as is the Confirmation Study on Wednesday
evenings. And Salem hosts two Scout troops, an FHA group, an AA meeting,
and various recitals and weddings and funerals. This is no museum! There
is dust and wear and tear due to use, which is exactly what God wants
going on!

Are you getting the idea that I feel so deeply, profoundly blessed here?
It is very difficult to leave. But present or not, I will carry you all
in my heart, which I learned is indeed big enough to love you all, thanks
be to God.

The Lord bless you and keep you. The Lord make his face shine upon you
and be gracious unto you. The Lord lift up his countenance upon you and
grant you His peace. In the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy
Spirit, amen.

Judy Bergeson
Diaconal Minister

June 12, 2012 gracenotes

Today I give thanks to God for my very best friend, my husband Ron. Not
that I don't thank the Lord often for him, but today is a special day –
our 36th wedding anniversary (June 12th). Whether you find yourself
single, widowed, divorced, or married, the Lord has given you
relationships that need care to grow and flourish. I share some advice
that was given to us at our wedding and things we have learned along the
way.

• Accept each other as you are. Planning to change someone usually has
disastrous results. Basic personalities are pretty well set early on.
• Love is a decision, not a feeling.
• Sometimes one gives 100%, not just 50-50.
• Be flexible; things and people change and it is a dance and gift to adapt.
• Live Ephesians 4: 26-27, not letting the sun go down while you are angry.
Talk it out or set a time to talk more about it.
• Lift up your partner in front of other people. Praise and build them up
instead of putting them down.
• Home should be a shelter and haven for all who live there, a safe place
to return to at the end of the day and share life's joys and burdens.
• Admit to your mistakes and ask forgiveness.
• Support each other's interests and abilities and encourage each other to
grow. Try not to be jealous of one another.
• Know when you are in trouble and get help.
• Make time together a priority.
• Try not to let your children come between you, even if you disagree on
how to handle them.
• Think before you speak and consider how what you say will sound to the
other person.
• Avoid power plays or struggles.
• Thank the Lord daily and ask how you can be a better partner, friend, or
parent.

Actually the list could go on and on, couldn't it? For the longer we
live, we continue to learn how to be in relationship with others.
Sometimes we learn by mistakes, sometimes we learn by observing others,
sometimes we learn by letting go of our control and listening. And there
are times when we have to say "no" if the way we are being treated is
unacceptable, for that leads to a broken relationship and that deep hurt
is not what God has in mind for any of us.

Each marriage or friendship will look different because the people
involved are unique, but there are ways of respecting and treating each
other well that are the foundation of all relationships.

Take time today to consider the gift God has given you in relationships,
and ask how you can be a better steward, or caretaker of them.

Blessings,
Carla Vanatta, Associate in Ministry
Salem Lutheran Church, Sycamore, IL

Salem Reminders:
Enjoy Salem Puppet Team's Salute to Fathers this Sunday, 8:00 & 10:30 and
take time to honor your own, forgiving them for their faults and failures.

A new member dinner is offered at 6 p.m. Monday, June 18th in Fellowship
Hall for those interested in exploring a faith connection with Salem.

A summer book study on "The Shack" continues Thursday evenings at 5 p.m.
in Fellowship Hall. Bring a sack supper and enjoy the discussion led by
Pastor Rob.