March 16, 2011
There's an old saying I dredged up last week from ages ago. It's "don't
compare your insides with somebody else's outsides". Doesn't that say a
LOT in such few words? I suppose there are several ways to think about
that powerful little aphorism. What brought it to my mind again (where
had it been for all that time?) was the comparing we do so quickly,
comparing a mother or father to our own parenting, comparing a
co-worker's performance with our own, comparing a close friend to another
friend, and so on. We do it all the time, sometimes for good. It makes
sense doesn't it to get a second opinion when treatment for a health
threat is at stake. It makes sense to compare prices, especially when you
have to purchase a big item, like a house or a car or a refrigerator.
It's even fun to compare orchestras playing the same song; who does it
"better", according to your taste?
But more often than not, we do the comparing to someone's detriment.
"Well, I would never do THAT", we think, as we watch a tired Mom scold her
naughty child in a grocery store. "Why do they fuss like that? I never
would," we say righteously to ourselves as we watch a couple in a
restaurant hiss at each other in frustration or anger. Or anyway that's
what it looks like. And isn't that the point? What it looks like,
whatever "it" is. The truth is, we don't know what the apparent anger is
about. We so quickly judge. "I'd never dress like that; what a slob" we
think sometimes when we see someone in clothing quite different from our
own. Maybe that's what they've got. How often have we been wrong, I
wonder?
That goes for our own selves also. When we compare our insides to
somebody else's outsides, we usually do that when we are down or blue or
half sick or feeling fat or poor or dumb, all negatives about ourselves.
We make ourselves targets for our own tongue lashing and we put ourselves
down (though we're already down but have decided we aren't down enough!)
and we say ugly things like, "She's prettier than I am, always has been
and always will be", or "I'll never have enough money to do the kinds of
things that my neighbors do", or "Mom never has enough time for me but she
always does for her friends. . .job. . .other sibling. . .Dad. . . I must
not be loveable." It goes on and on. You know what I mean.
Well, that kind of comparing is a sin. Really. We are all God's
children. As it says in baptism, "You have been sealed by the Holy Spirit
and marked with the cross of Christ forever". WOW. That is so important
to remember! And it's important to remind one another when you sense that
someone is doing that to him or herself. It's mean. It's cruel. It's
close-minded. It's judgmental. It's self-righteous. It either puts down
someone else to raise your own self up or puts your own self down as you
raise someone else up. It's bad math, that kind of comparing. Nobody is
equal, when you do that kind of self-talk.
Different. Different. God made us all different, with different families
and different intellects and different gifts. SO many different gifts!
And we are different sizes and colors and shapes, for variety's sake.
Maybe God figured it would be easier to tell us all apart if we were each
made differently from one another! Who knows? And some of us are good
with our hands and some with our legs and some with our voice boxes and
some with our ears and some with our brains. Within each of those areas
are folks who are good in different ways: Mariah Carey sings quite
differently from Renee Fleming yet both enrich the world of music
immeasurably. Faulkner wrote brilliantly about Mississippi and Elmore
Leonard wrote engagingly about Chicago, yet so different from one another.
Each of us has talents. God wants us to appreciate these talents and
develop them and use them to God's glory. Now THAT is worth spending time
on.
Judy Bergeson, Diaconal Minister
COMING EVENTS AT SALEM:
*Salem Lenten services are at 2 PM followed by pie and coffee and 7 PM
each Wednesday in the sanctuary. All are welcome.
*Monthly Morning Ministry meets the third Saturday morning of each month
year-round from 9 AM till noon. Bring crocheting, knitting, embroidery,
Easter cards, whatever and do it in Christian company!
*Annually, the Northern Illinois synod sponsors a Congregational
Resourcing Event at Kishwaukee Community College from 8:30 till 3:15 PM.
Pre-registration is preferred but one may sign in at the door; $22/person
and includes lunch. There are many workshops on a variety of topics, all
helpful, all interesting.
*The Social Justice Team is presenting "Perceptions of Poverty" at Salem's
Sunday Coffee Hours from 9:20 till 10:15 during March Come listen and
learn!
*This Sunday, March 20, is the monthly G.R.A.C.E. service, where the
children lead all the parts of worship at 10:30 except the sermon. Come
watch them grow in faith.
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