suggested there would be blessings hidden amidst the discomfort and
healing process. In the month since surgery, here are some of the
blessings I have experienced.
The sense of being held in prayer: as I focused on relaxing and
submitting to this medical procedure, I knew others were bringing me
before the Lord in prayer. I didn't need to tell God how I felt – somehow
I was sure God knew. The moving prayer and laying on of hands at worship
was a great mind picture and I brought the prayer shawl with me to the
hospital.
The goodness of God's people: notes and cards, flowers and meals arrived
at our home the first three weeks after surgery. Good wishes and loving
support continues to encourage me to patiently trust in the healing
process.
The support of my closest companion, Ron, as he cares for me at home –
being my other arm, helping me with basic needs, watching over my incision
and assisting me with passive therapy while he tries to balance this with
piano tunings and church work and his mother's needs as well. Our sons
have also been very helpful.
Perhaps the most surprising blessing has also been the most difficult. I
have made friends with the night. Here is how it happened. Those who have
gone through this surgery warned me that sleeping is the most difficult.
You either need to sleep sitting up in a recliner or propped up in bed
with a wedge and several pillows to both accommodate the large
brace/immobilizer and keep your shoulder in the right position. Normally
I sleep on my side.
After a week or 10 days of trying one thing or another and being awake
most of the night, I decided I had to change my expectations. Instead of
trying to sleep for 8 hrs. in one place, I decided it was fine to move
around, and it was okay to be awake for awhile. About the same time I
gave in to this routine, the earthquake occurred in Japan. God's people
there were heavy on my heart amidst untold tragedy and suffering to come.
I began to look forward to the middle of the night when I would move from
bed to a recliner and hassock to ease the strain on my shoulder. In the
quiet I talked to God and named all the suffering I could think of,
whether in Japan or within families or within our congregation. I would
put the prayer shawl around my shoulders and feel its warmth assuring me
God was near. I would think of all the people awake at night and pray for
them – those at work in factories and hospitals and fire and police
personnel – those up with new babies or sick children or birthing animals
– those awake from fear and worry, pain or war – those who roam streets
at night looking for food in dumpsters. You know, when you begin to pray
for the world, you never run out of categories!
So this night-time routine has become more pleasant. Now I patiently
expect to move to the living room about 1 or 2 a.m. and feel grateful I
can spend the next 20-60 minutes in prayer before I go back to sleep. I
feel good identifying with others who are awake at night; before I
selfishly never gave them more than a passing thought.
If you find yourself awake at night, rather than fight it I suggest you
might try embracing the night and the gifts it offers. I know it's very
hard if you are in pain, but even the time it takes for an Advil or
Tylenol dose to work gives good opportunity to reflect and pray.
This year at Salem we have added a new component to midweek Lenten worship
formed around Holden Evening Prayer, a prayer song by Marty Haugen called
"Watch, O Lord". I have been hearing this song in my head in the night
and it helps guide my prayer. I commend it to you as well:
Refrain: Watch, O Lord, with all those awake this night;
Watch, O Lord, with all those who weep.
Give your angels and saints charge over all who sleep.
Tend your ailing ones - in your love, Lord.
Rest your weary ones - in your love, Lord.
Bless your dying ones - in your love, O Lord of all….(Refrain)
Soothe your suffering ones – in your love, Lord.
Heal afflicted ones – in your love, Lord.
Shield your joyous ones - in your love, O Lord of all….(Refrain)
Hold your grieving ones – in your love, Lord.
Raise your fallen ones – in your love, Lord.
Mend your broken ones – in your love, O Lord of all….(Refrain)
Guard your little ones – in your love, Lord.
Guide your seeking ones – in your love, Lord.
Grant us all your peace – in your love, O Lord of all.
Thank you, God, for the night times of our life when we cannot see clearly
and must trust in your light and life. Amen.
Carla Vanatta, Associate in Ministry
Salem Lutheran Church, Sycamore, IL
Salem reminders:
- Midweek Lenten worship at 2:00 & 7:00 p.m. Wednesdays
- Prayer for our children, youth, and teachers on Spring Break this week
- Prayer for Japan and Libya and world leaders
- Traditional Lenten worship at 5 and 8 this weekend; Praise Team worship
at 10:30
- Final session of Poverty Perceptions study at 9:15 a.m. Sunday in
Fellowship Hall led by the Social Justice Team
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